This was the first drawing I made on returning from a 9 month travelling trip during which I'd made a lot of spiritual practices and released my creative block. The feeling was about being in a state of limbo, in-between different realities and having too many people want to help me, or wanting me to explain myself or watching and judging and just wanting to be left alone to figure things out in my own time.
Black ink fineliner pens, coloured pencils & felt tip pens.
LANCE YOUR EMOTIONAL WOUNDS AND LET THE COLOURS FLOW
Just as you need to lance a swollen puss-filled wound sometimes, to release the pressure and pain, you should also lance those emotional wounds. It can be very easy to bottle up emotions, to fight through them and believe that showing emotion is a weakness, or to believe that the problem will just disappear, but those memories, those pains slowly grow inside us and will always find a way to reach the surface.
The problem is: when you haven't treated the wound properly at the start, infections grow, the pain becomes worse, it spreads to maybe poison your blood, just like the emotional wounds spread to affect your mind, your self worth, your confidence. It benefits us greatly to stick that knife in at the start, bear the sting and see how our pain transforms into strength, beauty and colour.
Pencil, Black ink fine-liners & watercolours.
WHAT'S SHE BUILDING IN THERE?
This piece was inspired by a Tom Waits spoken word poem 'What's he building in there?' This was the first picture that I made as art therapy to myself. I changed the way I paint and draw to reflect my mental state and to create spontaneously and without a pre-concieved idea.
I've always been fascinated with derelict abandoned buildings and how they leave behind traces, stories and questions and in this picture the shack is in a way, my mind, or my shell and amongst many things this picture represents starting to look at myself from a different angle although not quite understanding myself yet.
Fine liner black ink pens and watercolours.
I've been doing a lot of work to understand myself, the way my mind works, my feelings, where they come from. Although I'm a believer in staying in the present, its not always so easy and sometimes the mind gets stuck in the past or the future, but it can be helpful or even comforting to recall some of those memories and influences.
I've always loved derelict abandoned houses, they provoke a curiosity, thoughtfulness and slight melancholy but somehow a comfort. I like to imagine who lived there, what happened, what the house has seen.
I see old houses like people with different characters and stories to tell, weathered by life but still standing. This one for me represents change and a connection to the spiritual world.
Fine-liner pens, watercolour & Acrylic.
This picture has no explanation or specific meaning. I called it Loki after a girl I met who loved this picture so much and spent hours looking at it and laughing. She made reference to the little guy fishing a piece of pizza off the moon, I pointed out that it was actually a human heart, but I liked the difference in view!
Fine-liner pens, watercolours, Acrylics.
Home is where the Budhilde is.
My boyfriend asked me to paint him a picture one night, with no brief so this is what came out.
He had lived with me in a community and had to move out and was feeling a little lost and homeless so this was to represent that wherever he goes is home, like a snail carrying everything on his back, and that no matter where he is, all of us (Budhilde) are still with him, still family and still home.
Fine liner pens & watercolours.
Black and White Illustrations
A PLACE FOR ME AND NO-ONE ELSE
This picture was made from a feeling that the world was getting a bit too much. I just wanted a place where I could go to and hide that was away from the world where no-one and nothing could get to me. I didn't want to disappear completely but I just wanted to 'be' without having to explain myself or accommodate anyone else.
This was made as a gift for a very special person. His veins run with music in a really inspiring way. When he gave me a canvas as a gift it showed he acknowledged how important art is to me, I wanted to give something back that equally showed how I appreciate his passions. The concept just happened as I started to draw but I tried to incorporate how his music is so diverse and varied and in a really accomplished, professional but rugged way.
Black ink fine-liner pens
IN A NUTSHELL
This is about wanting to be alone, wanting the world to be put on pause for a moment. The sea monsters beneath are the difficulties in life, the stresses and fears which I appreciate as part of me, and what helps me grow, so I don't want to get rid of them, I'd like them to just keep some distance briefly so I can curl up in my tiny nutshell, that comfortably fits only me, and loose myself in the moon and the night sky which always brings me comfort to any feeling or situation. The mysterious sky always reminds me that whatever the problem is, its only minuscule in the grand scheme of the universe.
Black ink fine-liner pens.
We think we know what's going on with the moon, we blindly accept what we're told, but do we really know? Is it not a little ignorant to think we are the only life in this giant universe?
This was the first in a series of self-portraits I started as part of a self-love and self worth journey.
I've always struggled with self-worth and body image issues (as most humans I imagine) but I finally realised that I'm the only person that can change that. Most problems of the mind come from a lack of self-love and for me, forcing myself to confront my image, to draw myself in great detail forced me to look at myself with a different pair of eyes, objectively and without the veil of disgust.
It was definitely a healing act and I plan to continue with more.
Winter themed wedding invites. I worked to some brief specifications from the Bride and hand-made 90 of these! In hindsight I could have made them simpler but she was very happy with them so it was worth the time.
Budhilde Wall Mural
This is a work in progress, a mystical mural for the wall of a creative communal house in Rostock, Germany.